I’ve been a group fitness instructor for over 10 years. I started with Zumba and have since been certified through a variety of different programs from HIIT, kickboxing, yoga fusion, seated senior fitness and most recently mat Pilates.
I LOVE teaching – don’t get me wrong…but, I’ve gotten to a point in my career where I’m like why am I still doing this?
I have those few people who are like “you’re amazing,” “I love your classes,” “your energy is top notch…” but inside I feel like I’m missing something. I feel like my purpose hasn’t yet been met or found and there is something missing. The problem is I just can’t seem to put my finger on what IT is.
The DOer in me needs to DO something – make a difference somewhere; touch people (not in a creepy way) in a different way and I’m just falling short on how, where and in what way. I want to be a part of something bigger and Zumba just isn’t IT – again, I LOVE teaching, I LOVE dance, and all things related to dance fitness but I’m like stuck in a revolving door of the same Merengue/Salsa/Cumbia/Reggaeton loop and every time I try to jump out I’m forced back in because I’m never given a real chance to prove what else I can do.
I posted this same rant to my Facebook account the other day and have gotten an outpouring of responses from some of my class participants both current and past who all say the same kinds of things “you’re amazing – keep going – you’ll find your purpose…” But then, there are the few who’ve commented who are also instructors… IN THE SAME BOAT. There is just SOMETHING that isn’t there that makes them feel whole. In years past, I’ve considered becoming a trainer for a fitness brand. I’ve applied for Zumba to be a Jammer – creating and sharing creative choreography; somehow the applications I submitted were never submitted correctly or I’d have missed the submission date by a day – the universe’s way of telling me it wasn’t time. I participated in a talent show at the conference I went to recently to be a presenter for the next year only to be told I need to vocalize my cues and have something to TEACH… the Zumba instructor presenting at the conference didn’t present with a microphone and had nothing new to TEACH us other than how to have a good time in his session. I was baffled.
I know what I LOVE to do, what I really enjoy doing and the things I absolutely dislike. I just can’t seem to get over the hump of internal insecurity I seem to have in myself to get over it and make something happen.
